Tag Archives: Feel the Fear

20 Inspiring Quotes to Boost Your Confidence

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Does your writing never feel not quite good enough?

You are not alone.

All writers feel like that at times.

And there is a simple reason why.

Hidden within us is the writer we are born to become. And this inner writer urges us to improve our craft.

That’s a good thing.

But the process starts unraveling when the gremlins of fear, doubt and shame start to bombard us with negative messages:

“You haven’t got what it takes!”

“You’re hopeless!”

“You can’t write!”

“Everyone else writes better!”

Are these thoughts familiar to you?

I bet they are!

The question is, would you talk so harshly to someone else?

If a new writer were to show you her or his work, how would you respond?

Most likely you respond with kindness and support.

And that’s exactly how you need to treat yourself.

Because as a writer, you’ll always have doubts about whether you are good enough. It doesn’t matter how successful you are, you’ll still feel inadequate at times.

Elisabeth George wrote the following in her journal (after publishing twelve bestsellers):

I’m reading John Le Carré’s The Constant Gardener right now. Frankly, it’s making me feel more inadequate than I’ve felt in a long time.

As you can see, at times even successful authors doubt their ability to write. If there is only one thing you take away from this post, let it be this:

Your feelings of inadequacy have no bearing on your talent as a writer.

The messages that the inner gremlins of fear, doubt and shame give you are the negative voices of the past. Voices of your parents, care-givers or teachers. They had a huge impact when you were little – and you still believe them, don’t you?

It’s time to free yourself from these gremlins!

It’s time for an antidote.

The antidote of inspiring quotes from writers who have gone through their fear, doubt and shame, and have come out the other side with some wisdom.

Here are some such inspiring quotes to help you on your way:

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I hope you feel inspired by these quotes and are encouraged to keep going.

Best of luck!

***

Via: https://writetodone.com/boost-your-confidence-as-a-writer/

How to Overcome the Fear of Sharing Your Writing

Posted in Blog, Writing by

woman-on-computer

Keeping with the theme of fear, and overcoming it, here is some more great advice from blogger Leo Babauta for getting to grips with sharing your writing with the world, whether that’s blogging, writing short stories for magazines, or novel writing.

You’d think that after eight years of public blogging and writing books, I’d be completely free of fear when it comes to putting my writing out in public. You would, of course, be wrong. Hitting “publish” still makes me nervous.

I still get little shivers of nervousness when I hit the “Publish” button on any post, and bigger fears still when I publish a print book or ebook. Writing in public is like speaking in public, if you’re doing it right. You’re baring your soul for all to judge, and there are few things as scary as that. But I’m here to tell you that it’s not only doable, it’s worth the effort to overcome that fear.

I’ve had several people write to me recently asking me about their fears about writing their blog. One person said they deleted their blog because they thought what they’d written was too lame. She said, “I thought it would be great if you could share how to put yourself out there in public and not worry about it.”

Well, I wish I could share the secret to not worrying about putting your writing in public, but I don’t think it exists. It’s scary as hell.

And yet I manage to do it nearly daily. Here’s how:

Write for One Person

You may have heard this advice before from more than one author. It’s impossible to write for thousands of people at once – that’s like trying to have a conversation with a stadium full of people. Who are you addressing? What tone do you use? What do they care about? So instead I follow Kurt Vonnegut’s advice to write for one reader (for him it was his sister). For me, it’s often different people I care about (my wife, one of my kids, a sister, a friend, a specific reader with a problem). I try to write like I’m talking directly to them, and though I change the style a bit to fit my blog’s style, that’s what I have in mind as I write. This has the added benefit of not being as scary – you’re just talking to one person.

Start with a Tiny Audience

When I started my site Zen Habits, my only readers were my mom and my wife (thanks you guys!). It wasn’t too scary to write for them. Then I got a few more readers, but by then my comfort level grew and the fear wasn’t overwhelming. Then I had 50 readers, and it was like a big group of friends, because everyone was supportive. By the time I had hundreds and then thousands of readers, I felt like I knew what I was doing (nevermind that I still don’t). One of the great things about blogging, for writers, is that your comfort level grows as your audience does.

Get Over the Idea of Perfection

We freeze up when we think of the idea that we need to write the “perfect” blog post or book, so that everyone thinks highly of us. I’m telling you now: there’s no such thing as perfect. Not everyone will think your writing is the greatest. And that’s okay. If you accept that there will be some things you do that are good, and others that are less than good, and that’s part of being a human; you can embrace a wider range of possibilities. You don’t have to hit a home run with every swing or score a goal with every touch.

Be Motivated by Learning

Why should you even attempt to write when it’s so scary? Because if you don’t do the things that you’re afraid of, you never learn anything. The best learning comes when you try something you don’t know how to do, and make mistakes, and then learn how to fix those mistakes. And then repeat. If you want safe, you give up on learning.

Be Motivated by Helping

I write because people have said it’s helpful. They like seeing how someone else solved a problem, or that it’s even possible to overcome, or at the very least they like knowing that there are other people out there going through the same thing. When people give me that kind of feedback, I feel great, and I can’t wait to do the scary thing again.

Writing is transformative. It changes you, and the reader. You get feedback from the reader and learn from them. You get accountability and you have to reflect on what you’re learning. You become greater from the attempt to overcome the fear.

There has been no greater achievement in my life, other than raising my kids, than overcoming the thunderhold of fear and writing for all of you.

***

Via: http://lifehacker.com/how-to-overcome-the-fear-of-sharing-your-writing-in-pub-1646791988

Facing the Fear and Imposter Syndrome 

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Help

One thing I really took home from the Festival of Writing 2017 is that all writers suffer from self-doubt – something refered to in Debi Alper’s Facing the Fear workshop as “The Doubt Demons”. One of these demons is Imposter Syndrome, and it’s the one that plagues me most.

People who feel like impostors believe they have somehow managed to fool others into thinking they are more capable, intelligent or talented than they ‘know’ themselves to be.”

Imposter Syndrome is the belief that you’re out of your depth, you’re not really capable, and it’s only a matter of time before other ‘real’ writers suss you out. If you suffer from this, as I do, you will regularly have thoughts that you aren’t good enough, that your writing is crap, and no one wants to read it anyway. Well, I’m here to tell you (and myself) that this is NORMAL and EVERY writer, even those who have had massive success and published loads of books, suffers with this exact same thing.

So how do we deal with it?

Well, I found a really good article from The Guardian that deals with this topic, in which Dr. Valerie Young, an internationally-recognised expert on impostor syndrome suggests the following:

1. Get to the root cause of your impostor syndrome

In order to understand why you’re not currently capable of acknowledging your skills and talents, you’ll need to explore where these feelings stem from. According to Young, feelings of low self-worth could relate to family expectations, but they could just as easily arise from studying in a competitive environment or working in creative fields. (See, what did I tell you – all creative’s suffer with this!)

2. Talk about your experience with someone you trust 

You’re probably familiar with the notion that voicing worries or fears out loud will lessen the power they hold over you. “I would encourage anyone feeling that they may be experiencing imposter syndrome to talk about it with someone they trust; whether that be a professional or someone from their own circle of family and friends.”

3. Reframe your thoughts with positive self-talk 

The aim of practicing positive self-talk is to learn how to manage your thoughts when an impostor moment strikes. “If you want to stop feeling like an impostor, you have to stop thinking like one,” advises Young. “We need to become consciously aware of the impostor thoughts running through our head so that we can reframe them the way a non-impostor would,” she says.

4. Learn to believe in your self-worth 

“What we want is to feel confident 24/7, but that’s not how it works,” says Young. Instead she suggests learning how to act with confidence, even when you’re feeling insecure, as a way of gradually changing how you feel internally.  Taking back control of a situation can also help you rediscover your self-worth.

These are all great suggestions for dealing with the demons. Personally, I find positive affirmations help – telling myself I can do this, and telling the demon to go to hell.

Other things you could try are:

  • Calling the demon out
  • Conversing with the demon
  • Reading back some of your best work to give yourself confidence
  • Distracting yourself with a good book or a positive piece of music that lifts your spirits
  • Talking to other writer friends who understand how it feels or can reassure you how great your writing really is

Perhaps use a combination of the above, or simply keep reminding yourself that the very fact you feel like an imposter means you are a real writer, and puts you in the same group as even the best published writers, who also suffer from the same affliction.

Here is a little anecdote from Neil Gaiman to illustrate my point, and hopefully make you feel better. It certainly helped me:

Some years ago, I was lucky enough to be invited to a gathering of great and good people: artists and scientists, writers and discoverers of things. And I felt that at any moment they would realise that I didn’t qualify to be there, among these people who had really done things.

On my second or third night there, I was standing at the back of the hall, while a musical entertainment happened, and I started talking to a very nice, polite, elderly gentleman about several things, including our shared first name. And then he pointed to the hall of people, and said words to the effect of, “I just look at all these people, and I think, what the heck am I doing here? They’ve made amazing things. I just went where I was sent.”

And I said, “Yes. But you were the first man on the moon. I think that counts for something.”

And I felt a bit better. Because if Neil Armstrong felt like an imposter, maybe everyone did. Maybe there weren’t any grown-ups, only people who had worked hard and also got lucky and were slightly out of their depth, all of us doing the best job we could, which is all we can really hope for.

You can read the full Guardian article here: https://jobs.theguardian.com/article/impostor-syndrome-and-how-to-overcome-it

Your First Chapter: Getting Past The Fear

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ChapterOneFear holds a lot of writers back from getting their work into the world, and when you’re writing a book the fear of the first chapter can stop you in your tracks.

Much of this fear comes from pressure for the first chapter to be perfect. It is drilled into us that first impressions are everything, especially when it means keeping your manuscript out of the slush pile.

But if you don’t get started, you’ll never get going. So here are a few tips for pushing past the fear of failure and writing your first chapter.

Before the First Word

Think about your concept. No matter where it came from: based on a real event, in a dream, a fairy story, your imagination, whatever, you will need to flesh it out a bit and think about where it is going. Do some research into the area, and allow your concept to morph as it takes shape.

Coming up with the plot is the most difficult part, because our ideas change and grow all the time. But if you do a little planning on your structure and develop your characters, the shape of your novel will began to reveal itself. And doing this beforehand will make the actual writing process easier.

Putting Pen to Paper

From all your planning, the obvious place to start should present itself. Try not to overthink it – just start writing and see where it takes you. If you hit a dead end, don’t panic. Back up a bit a try again, or put it in a draw for a while and then come back to it with fresh eyes.

Personally, I have found giving my ideas time to marinade really helps my process. I reworked my plot, my world, some of my characters, and prepared to take that leap into a new first chapter.

Advice

There is a lot of advice out there about right/wrong ways to start a book. My advice is: just start writing. If you’ve got off on the wrong foot, the book will tell you. Sure, it may set you back a little, but you’ll learn from that experience and your novel will be better for it.

Think about how your favourite books and films start. Do they jump right into the acton, or is there some breathing space before the story begins? If you can imagine an intriguing scene that doesn’t give the game away, you’re on the right track.

Don’t let the pressure of publishers, agents, or readers intimidate you. First chapters are scary and exciting (like the first summertime leap into a swimming pool) but the great thing about words is that you can change them.

The revision and editing processes are so long that chances are, your first chapter will transform many times from your first version of it. We revise for a reason, so don’t stress about the minor things just yet.

In Retrospect

Although it can be hard figuring out where and how to start, the re-starting of my draft made me realise that the little things don’t matter (yet) and that first drafts never come out perfectly polished the first go.

My biggest lesson: don’t try to write the perfect first draft, because it’s like a unicorn – it only exists in my imagination.

It doesn’t matter that a chapter feels stale, or that the wording for some descriptions aren’t quite right, or that your tense keeps shifting.

Words are flexible: they can be edited, moved around, deleted, and swapped. Just get yourself past the first hurdle and keep pushing forward.

What’s important is that you write, not hide behind the fear that your first chapter may not be entirely perfect just yet.

Via: http://writersedit.com/getting-past-fear-first-chapter/

Procrastination: Why Writers Do It

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Procrastinate

“The thing all writers do best is find ways to avoid writing.” – Alan Dean Foster

For us writers procrastinating can easily become an occupational hazard. It’s very common for us to go out of our way to avoid writing; with procrastination being an enemy of productivity.

When blogger and journalist Megan McArdle researched the topic one of her colleagues told her:

“Well, first, I put it off for two or three weeks. Then I sit down to write. That’s when I get up and go clean the garage. After that, I go upstairs, and then I come back downstairs and complain to my wife for a couple of hours. Finally, but only after a couple more days have passed and I’m really freaking out about missing my deadline, I ultimately sit down and write.”

Sound familiar? Steven Pressfield the author of War of Art believes it’s a form of resistance. In his book he identifies the enemy all of us must face. There is a naysayer within all of us that prevents us from achieving our goals. Whether it be writing a novel, or painting a masterpiece. Pressfield then continues to outline a battle plan to conquer our internal foes.

For many of us this foe can be procrastination. Truthfully there are a million reasons we lack the motivation or inspiration to fill our blank pages and we’re all different, but here are a couple of common ones:

Because we’re afraid

Fear is one of the biggest reasons we procrastinate. Dr. Carol Dweck, a psychologist studying motivation at Stanford University believes that writers are often paralysed by the prospect of writing something that isn’t very good. However, the fear of turning in nothing by a deadline usually outweighs the fear of handing in something terrible. Dr. Dweck believes this is because we regard our failures as growth because when we’re failing, we’re learning. It’s also believed that the “fear of being unmasked as the incompetent you ‘really’ are is so common it actually has a clinical name: Imposter Syndrome“. We spend so much time worrying our writing won’t be good enough, but we need to remember that at the end of the day we’re always our own worst critics and our fears are usually unwarranted. You can find out more on her thoughts in Why writers are the worst procrastinators.

Because we lack inspiration

When we don’t know what to write or we lack inspiration, our motivation can be severely impaired inhibiting our potential to create the art we we’re destined to produce. As mentioned above, sometimes this lack of inspiration stems from our desire to be perfect, but all you need is an idea. Once you have an idea you have the potential to create something amazing.

To overcome a lack of inspiration you need to actively engage with what you’re doing. If you’re writing a book about a prison go interview some inmates or correctional officers, or go visit a prison so you can get the feel for what you’re writing about by submerging yourself in the world of your writing. Sometimes you need a change of scenery, or just a short break. There’s a million different ways to get inspired but we all do this differently, Psychology Today have some good examples in their article ‘Lacking Motivation and Inspiration? 5 Secrets to Get Unstuck’ with everything from finding a muse, to shattering your self doubts, these ideas can help you find some much needed inspiration.

Identifying methods of procrastination

According to author Joanna Penn, procrastinating takes many forms. It isn’t  just playing a dozen games of angry birds, it often looks more like this:

  • Reading blogs about writing
  • Buying more books about writing
  • Tidying your desk so that you’ll be ready to write… really soon…!
  • Hanging out with other writers (offline or online) and talking about writing.

We spend a lot of time thinking about writing without actually writing, this is a key sign of procrastination and we need to use this knowledge to our advantage.

How to fight it

Being well versed in the art of procrastination is understandable given the culture of constant distraction we live in, but procrastination can be an important part of the writing process.

“It’s folly, what we do, if you think about it – to make something out of nothing, to spin a story or an argument, to ask a reader to give up his or her time and share with us a fantasy, a dream, a conversation, to seize the moment (for a moment) and try to hold it before it slips away”- David Ulin on procrastination as a creative tool.

Procrastination is often used as a defence mechanism, an idea and a blank page is perfect, but once we begin putting that idea into words that perfection can dwindle leaving us raw and exposed. We use it as a strategy for mitigating fear and anxiety.

To overcome this fear we need to follow the advice Annie Dillard provides in her work The Writing Life and understand that we need to write in spite of problems we may encounter. The tension between what we wish for and what we achieve can only be overcome if we work to achieve something. After all Hemmingway himself claimed “The first draft of anything is shit” but as writers we work to overcome this by re-drafting and editing.

If you are stuck in the procrastination bubble, here is some further reading that might help you break free:

Via: http://writersedit.com/writers-procrastinate/